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Five Tips to Help Parents Listen Bennington VT

The only way we can truly be sure that they are all right, or if something is troubling them, is if they feel they can confide in us on a person-to-person basis. But are we actually listening to them as equals, or are we listening to them with condescending ears and, in the process, inadvertently breaking these lines of communication between parent and child -- leaving them unwilling to come to us for help?

Dana Mann
(917) 202-3738
Bennington, VT
Practice Areas
Clinical Mental Health, Corrections/Offenders, Couples & Family, Rehabilitation, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor

Marc Cohen
(802) 257-0319
Bennington, VT
Practice Areas
Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Rehabilitation, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor

Robert Pelosi
(802) 464-0543
Wilmington, VT
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Corrections/Offenders, Couples & Family, School, Disaster Counseling
Certifications
National Certified Counselor
Language Proficiencies
Italian

Jessica Donnelly
(802) 518-4623 x397
112 Lake Street
Burlington, VT
Specialties
Depression, Anxiety or Fears, Divorce, Mood Disorders
Patient Info
Ethnicity: Any
Gender: All
Age: Children (6 to 10),Preteens / Tweens (11 to 13),Adolescents / Teenagers (14 to 19),Adults
Payment Methods
Sliding Scale: Yes
Accepted Insurance Plans: Aetna

Alice R. Morrison, MA
(802) 988-4690, (802) 505-1732
Bear Foot Farm, Bear Mountain Road
North Troy, VT
 
Jean Pollock
(802) 257-1047
Bennington, VT
Practice Areas
Addictions and Dependency, Clinical Mental Health, Eating Disorders, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery
Certifications
Certified Clinical Mental Health Counselor, National Certified Counselor

Marie J Wargo
(413) 664-4600
North Adams, MA
Practice Areas
Addictions and Dependency, Clinical Mental Health, Eating Disorders, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Bode, Jacquelyn Psychologist
(802) 747-3488
73 Center Street
Rutland, VT
 
Cherie J Troyen
(802) 651-7505
Colchester, VT
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
National Certified School Counselor, National Certified Counselor

Ellen Terie
(802) 457-3087
taftsville, VT
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Couples & Family, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
NC

Five Tips to Help Parents Listen

Provided By: 

Parent & Child

Parents, Are You Listening or Lecturing to Your Kids? Five Tips to Help You Listen
By Julie Scandora 
Email
Feb 11, 2009, 10:44
   

Seattle, WA - The knowledge that our children are safe, happy and emotionally sound is one of our greatest concerns. If they were being traumatized by something at school or, even worse, the attentions of a predator, we would want to be the first to know.

The only way we can truly be sure that they are all right, or if something is troubling them, is if they feel they can confide in us on a person-to-person basis. But are we actually listening to them as equals, or are we listening to them with condescending ears and, in the process, inadvertently breaking these lines of communication between parent and child -- leaving them unwilling to come to us for help?

"Children don't seem to get as much respect as other members of society," says Julie Scandora, teacher and author of the book 'Rules Are Rules.' "They experience the same emotional obstacles as adults, but this is often overlooked by grown-ups. Parents need to treat children with respect and ensure a trusting relationship."

Here are five of Julie's tips to help you communicate more effectively with your children:

1. Listen. It sounds obvious, but if your children don't think they will be heard, they won't go to you with the hard questions or problems.

2. Create opportunities for interaction with your kids. Families spend so much time apart these days. Use 'car time' -- such as the 20-minute drive to school – as a time to communicate with your children.

3. Lead by example. Far too many parents opt for the 'do as I say not as I do' method. But this sends mixed messages to children regarding important situations.

4. Respect the child's intuition. We all have 'gut feelings,' and if kids are encouraged to trust theirs, they will be able to heed their intuition in dicey situations when we aren't around to help.

5. Don't confuse 'respect' with 'giving in.' It is important that the parental role is not usurped. Don't give in to kids just to diffuse a problematic situation. Instead communicate with them and let them know why rules are rules.

By showing our children that we are receptive to what they have to say and that we are willing to talk with them, not just at them, we can help them gain confidence and maturity, but we need to make sure we are practicing what we preach.

"Perhaps we need to start with ourselves, don't we!" laughs Julie, "But if we give our children the respect we give our peers, they will be better prepared to deal with whatever life throws at them. And when they encounter something for which they are still too young to deal with by themselves, they'll naturally come to us for advice."

--
Julie Scandora is a teacher, editor, author and mother of three. She holds a BA from Smith and an MBA from the University of Washington and has taught c...

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