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Five Tips to Help Parents Listen Belen NM

The only way we can truly be sure that they are all right, or if something is troubling them, is if they feel they can confide in us on a person-to-person basis. But are we actually listening to them as equals, or are we listening to them with condescending ears and, in the process, inadvertently breaking these lines of communication between parent and child -- leaving them unwilling to come to us for help?

Mrs. Jane Rowland
Jane Rowland LISW
(575) 910-4425
500 N. Main Suite 400-J
Roswell, NM
Credentials
Credentials: LISW
Licensed in New Mexico
26 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Bipolar Disorders, Career/Employment Concerns, Couple or Marital Issues, Depression, Dissociative Disorders, Eating Disorders, Family Dysfunction, Grief/Loss, Infertility, Interpersonal Relationships, Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder,
Populations Served
ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), Children of Divorce, Caregivers, Step Families
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Adolescents (13-17), Young Adults (18-25), Adults (26-59)

Data Provided by:
Ms. Anika Kelso
Santa Fe Supportive Therapy
(505) 795-6868
2074 Galisteo Street B-3
Santa Fe, NM
Credentials
Credentials: LISW, LCSW
Licensed in New Mexico
5 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Attention Deficit (Hyperactivity) Disorder, Behavioral Problems, Career/Employment Concerns, Depression, Family Dysfunction, Interpersonal Relationships, Parenting Issues, Sexual Orientation, Stress, Gender Identity, Life Transitio
Populations Served
ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), Children of Divorce, Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual, Transgendered, Step Families, Grandparents
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Children (6-12), Adolescents (13-17), Young Adults (18-25), Adults (26-59)

Data Provided by:
Ms. Ellen Fox
Ellen J. Shabshai Fox, LISW
(505) 699-4312
2400 Calle Amelia
Santa Fe, NM
Credentials
Credentials: LISW
Licensed in New Mexico
35 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Addictions/Other (gambling, sex, etc.), Addictions/Substance, Aging, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Career/Employment Concerns, Couple or Marital Issues, Depression, Family Dysfunction, Interpersonal Relationships, Multicultural Issues, Parenting Issues, Phobias
Populations Served
ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics), Children of Divorce, Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual, Step Families, Gifted, Chronic Illness, Interracial Families/Couples, Obese or Overweight
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Adolescents (13-17), Young Adults (18-25), Adults (26-59), Seniors (60 +)

Data Provided by:
Phyllis Zamorski
(505) 296-6708
Albuquerque, NM
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Mental Health/Agency Counseling
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Denise Neda Miller
(360) 632-6717
Holman, NM
Practice Areas
Clinical Mental Health, Eating Disorders, Couples & Family, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill, Mental Health/Agency Counseling
Certifications
National Certified Counselor
Language Proficiencies
German

Mr. Matthew David
Matthew David, LPCC
(505) 984-5525
1807 Second Street Suite 44
Santa Fe, NM
Credentials
Credentials: MA, LPCC
Licensed in New Mexico
14 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Addictions/Substance, Couple or Marital Issues, Depression, Family Dysfunction, Interpersonal Relationships, Spiritual/Religious Concerns, Trauma/PTSD, Life Transitions, Anger Management, Men's Issues
Populations Served
ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics)
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Adults (26-59), Seniors (60 +)

Data Provided by:
Ms. Aurora Alvarez
CYFD - PSD - I-HS
(575) 882-7900
945 Anthony Dr.
Anthony, NM
Credentials
Credentials: LMSW
Licensed in New Mexico
2 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Child Abuse and Neglect, Family Dysfunction, Parenting Issues
Populations Served
Offenders/Perpetrators
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Young Adults (18-25), Adults (26-59)

Data Provided by:
Samuel H Shaffer
(505) 982-7434
Santa Fe, NM
Practice Areas
Career Development, Clinical Mental Health, Counselor Education, Couples & Family, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Rebecca Wright
(505) 603-2622
Santa Fe, NM
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill, Supervision
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Vonda O Long
(505) 681-0981
Albuquerque, NM
Practice Areas
Counselor Education, Aging/Gerontological, Couples & Family, Sports Counseling
Certifications
National Certified Counselor
Language Proficiencies
swedish

Data Provided by:

Five Tips to Help Parents Listen

Provided By: 

Parent & Child

Parents, Are You Listening or Lecturing to Your Kids? Five Tips to Help You Listen
By Julie Scandora 
Email
Feb 11, 2009, 10:44
   

Seattle, WA - The knowledge that our children are safe, happy and emotionally sound is one of our greatest concerns. If they were being traumatized by something at school or, even worse, the attentions of a predator, we would want to be the first to know.

The only way we can truly be sure that they are all right, or if something is troubling them, is if they feel they can confide in us on a person-to-person basis. But are we actually listening to them as equals, or are we listening to them with condescending ears and, in the process, inadvertently breaking these lines of communication between parent and child -- leaving them unwilling to come to us for help?

"Children don't seem to get as much respect as other members of society," says Julie Scandora, teacher and author of the book 'Rules Are Rules.' "They experience the same emotional obstacles as adults, but this is often overlooked by grown-ups. Parents need to treat children with respect and ensure a trusting relationship."

Here are five of Julie's tips to help you communicate more effectively with your children:

1. Listen. It sounds obvious, but if your children don't think they will be heard, they won't go to you with the hard questions or problems.

2. Create opportunities for interaction with your kids. Families spend so much time apart these days. Use 'car time' -- such as the 20-minute drive to school – as a time to communicate with your children.

3. Lead by example. Far too many parents opt for the 'do as I say not as I do' method. But this sends mixed messages to children regarding important situations.

4. Respect the child's intuition. We all have 'gut feelings,' and if kids are encouraged to trust theirs, they will be able to heed their intuition in dicey situations when we aren't around to help.

5. Don't confuse 'respect' with 'giving in.' It is important that the parental role is not usurped. Don't give in to kids just to diffuse a problematic situation. Instead communicate with them and let them know why rules are rules.

By showing our children that we are receptive to what they have to say and that we are willing to talk with them, not just at them, we can help them gain confidence and maturity, but we need to make sure we are practicing what we preach.

"Perhaps we need to start with ourselves, don't we!" laughs Julie, "But if we give our children the respect we give our peers, they will be better prepared to deal with whatever life throws at them. And when they encounter something for which they are still too young to deal with by themselves, they'll naturally come to us for advice."

--
Julie Scandora is a teacher, editor, author and mother of three. She holds a BA from Smith and an MBA from the University of Washington and has taught c...

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