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Five Tips to Help Parents Listen Bangor ME

The only way we can truly be sure that they are all right, or if something is troubling them, is if they feel they can confide in us on a person-to-person basis. But are we actually listening to them as equals, or are we listening to them with condescending ears and, in the process, inadvertently breaking these lines of communication between parent and child -- leaving them unwilling to come to us for help?

Ms. Shelley O'Bar
(207) 944-1849
96 Harlow St. Suite 245
Bangor, ME
Credentials
Credentials: LCSW
Licensed in Maine
6 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Addictions/Substance, Adoption/Foster Care, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Bipolar Disorders, Child Abuse and Neglect, Depression, Dissociative Disorders, Family Dysfunction, Self Abuse, Sexual Abuse/Rape, Sexual Orientation, Stress, Trauma/PTSD, Dual Diagnosis,
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Adolescents (13-17), Young Adults (18-25), Adults (26-59)

Data Provided by:
Alan Algee
(207) 973-0505
Bangor, ME
Practice Areas
Addictions and Dependency, Couples & Family, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill, Mental Health/Agency Counseling, Supervision
Certifications
Master Addictions Counselor, National Certified Counselor

Davis, Katherine M. LCSW
(207) 941-8829
43 Columbia Street
Bangor, ME
 
Dorothy Breen
(207) 581-2479
Orono, ME
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Counselor Education, Couples & Family, School, Depression/Grief/Chronically or Terminally Ill
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Mrs. Frances Dunning
Frances Dunning, ACSW, LCSW, LADC
(207) 941-8000
13B High Street
Bangor, ME
Credentials
Credentials: ACSW, LCSW
Licensed in Maine
18 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Addictions/Substance, Bipolar Disorders, Child Abuse and Neglect, Couple or Marital Issues, Depression, Family Dysfunction, Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder, Stress, Trauma/PTSD, Dual Diagnosis, Women's Issues
Populations Served
ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics)
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Young Adults (18-25), Adults (26-59), Seniors (60 +)

Data Provided by:
Mrs. Frances Dunning
Frances Dunning, ACSW, LCSW, LADC
(207) 941-8000
13B High Street
Bangor, ME
Credentials
Credentials: ACSW, LCSW
Licensed in Maine
18 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Addictions/Substance, Bipolar Disorders, Child Abuse and Neglect, Couple or Marital Issues, Depression, Family Dysfunction, Obsessive/Compulsive Disorder, Stress, Trauma/PTSD, Dual Diagnosis, Women's Issues
Populations Served
ACOA (Adult Children of Alcoholics)
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Young Adults (18-25), Adults (26-59), Seniors (60 +)

Data Provided by:
Susan Russell
(207) 942-2199
Bangor, ME
Practice Areas
Career Development, Counselor Education, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery, Mental Health/Agency Counseling
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Amy Grenier
(207) 941-0010
Bangor, ME
Practice Areas
Childhood & Adolescence, Clinical Mental Health, Couples & Family, Sexual Abuse Recovery, Mental Health/Agency Counseling
Certifications
National Certified Counselor

Fielding Brenda A
(207) 866-5514
129 Forest Ave
Orono, ME

Data Provided by:
Ms. Joan Marks
(207) 266-9573
345 Cottage Rd
South Portland, ME
Credentials
Credentials: LCSW
Licensed in Maine
37 Years of Experience
Problems Served
Aging, Anxiety/Panic Disorders, Career/Employment Concerns, Couple or Marital Issues, Depression, Family Dysfunction, Grief/Loss, Interpersonal Relationships, Sexual Orientation, Stress, Education/Personal Development, Gender Identity, Life Transitions, Se
Populations Served
AIDS/HIV+, Children of Divorce, Gay/Lesbian/Bisexual, Caregivers, Step Families, Chronic Illness, Interracial Families/Couples
Membership Organizations
HelpPro.com
Age Groups Served
Young Adults (18-25), Adults (26-59), Seniors (60 +)

Data Provided by:
Data Provided by:

Five Tips to Help Parents Listen

Provided By: 

Parent & Child

Parents, Are You Listening or Lecturing to Your Kids? Five Tips to Help You Listen
By Julie Scandora 
Email
Feb 11, 2009, 10:44
   

Seattle, WA - The knowledge that our children are safe, happy and emotionally sound is one of our greatest concerns. If they were being traumatized by something at school or, even worse, the attentions of a predator, we would want to be the first to know.

The only way we can truly be sure that they are all right, or if something is troubling them, is if they feel they can confide in us on a person-to-person basis. But are we actually listening to them as equals, or are we listening to them with condescending ears and, in the process, inadvertently breaking these lines of communication between parent and child -- leaving them unwilling to come to us for help?

"Children don't seem to get as much respect as other members of society," says Julie Scandora, teacher and author of the book 'Rules Are Rules.' "They experience the same emotional obstacles as adults, but this is often overlooked by grown-ups. Parents need to treat children with respect and ensure a trusting relationship."

Here are five of Julie's tips to help you communicate more effectively with your children:

1. Listen. It sounds obvious, but if your children don't think they will be heard, they won't go to you with the hard questions or problems.

2. Create opportunities for interaction with your kids. Families spend so much time apart these days. Use 'car time' -- such as the 20-minute drive to school – as a time to communicate with your children.

3. Lead by example. Far too many parents opt for the 'do as I say not as I do' method. But this sends mixed messages to children regarding important situations.

4. Respect the child's intuition. We all have 'gut feelings,' and if kids are encouraged to trust theirs, they will be able to heed their intuition in dicey situations when we aren't around to help.

5. Don't confuse 'respect' with 'giving in.' It is important that the parental role is not usurped. Don't give in to kids just to diffuse a problematic situation. Instead communicate with them and let them know why rules are rules.

By showing our children that we are receptive to what they have to say and that we are willing to talk with them, not just at them, we can help them gain confidence and maturity, but we need to make sure we are practicing what we preach.

"Perhaps we need to start with ourselves, don't we!" laughs Julie, "But if we give our children the respect we give our peers, they will be better prepared to deal with whatever life throws at them. And when they encounter something for which they are still too young to deal with by themselves, they'll naturally come to us for advice."

--
Julie Scandora is a teacher, editor, author and mother of three. She holds a BA from Smith and an MBA from the University of Washington and has taught c...

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